Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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