So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
whose parrot is this?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
