A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
