whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
