i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
