i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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