i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
