I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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