There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
