So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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