she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
