you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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