Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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