I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
