Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
