when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
