Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
