i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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