If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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