my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
