"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You ruined the universe
Randomize