I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
