No awkward lesbian experiences without me
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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