I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
