lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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