You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
