My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
