i just google imaged poop.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Four minutes until I can fart!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize