So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Farmville is her only friend.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize