i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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