I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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