My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
