why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
