Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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