I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
