If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Can you bring me the toilet please
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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