She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
