Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
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