It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
