He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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