Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
