I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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