When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
