so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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