My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Naked Twister starts at high noon
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
