Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
