Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?

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(847): View more from Illinois

I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I have surprise drugs for everyone

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(831): View more from California

we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?

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(312): View more from Illinois

He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.

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(515): View more from Iowa

I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?

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(703): View more from Virginia

Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"

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(501): View more from Arkansas

11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.

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