she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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