It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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