it hurts more in the daytime
so let's talk penis.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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