he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
