that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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