I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize