come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
