I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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