You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize