So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
